No Smoking

Any Republican politician who takes a stand on an issue will be compared to Hitler. The comparison has been made so many times that it has become meaningless. So what will we do when the nationalist socialist workers find themselves a new leader?

YoU LIVE IN NYC AND YOU HAVE NO SKILLS?

I love the crazy ones. Here's the text, preserving the capitalization and emphasis:

YoU LIVE IN NYC AND YOU HAVE NO SKILLS?
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF LIVING IN NYC-!!!
BE GLAD YOU LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE INDUSTRIES OF OPPORTUNITIES FOR THE ARTS/EDUCATION/AND THE FOREFRONT OF HEALING!!!
ARTIST DEVELOPMENT
MUSIC/DANCE THERAPY SPECIALIST-DOCUMENT YOUR HEALING JOURNEY/ADVOCACY/ENERGY THERAPIES/ANIMAL THERAPIES/REFERALLS
LYRIC AND SONGWRITING
RECORDING
ENGINEERING
PRODUCING
MENTORSHIP
TUTORING IN MOST SUBJECTS-SCHOOL TO ARTS
PRIVATE TRAINER
VOICEOVERS
MIDTOWN STUDIO WITH
PARKING
RADIO ACCESS FOR MANY CLIENTS-ALL AGES AND GENRES

646-637-8584/portlife2@yahoo.com

Guardian Angels

The Guardian Angels are like the Boy Scouts - you know that they still exist, but their raison d'être expired a long time ago.

Corporate Vandals Not Welcome

I too am bothered by street campaigns by big corporations but where do you draw the line? How big can your band, magazine, website or improv theater get before you become a corporate vandal?

What's next for the iPod guy?

I got this Jews for Jesus pamphlet at the Union Square subway stop. Here's the text, preserving the emphasis:

Steve Jobs - you started in lowly circumstances...a garage in Los Altos, California. You founded Apple Computer and took a bite out of the rest of the industry. You pioneered a whole new way of computing.

Yes, you were ousted, but you went on to form Next Computer.

Then you came roaring back to Apple and became the King of Computer Style.
You co-founded Pixar. You brought us OSX. You invented the iPod, iTunes, and iDon't know what else.

Your critics said you had a Reality Distortion Field, but you created your own reality.

What could possibly come next? Nano-tunes? Ectoplasmic operating systems? Celebrity status on other planets?

Steve, you have done wonders for our Wired life.

But life is more than wires. Silicon can't satisfy the soul. Hi-tech won't heal the heart.

We'd like you to meet someone who is kind of like you. Someone who also started out humbly. Someone who had a good career. Someone who also took a fall and then, kind of like you did, came back to life.

Maybe you know who I'm talking about, Steve - it's Jesus the Messiah. He was born in a donkey's feeding trough, even more humble than a garage.

He was killed, but not in a power coup. He said it was his purpose to die - so that you and I could be made spiritually whole.

(You'll pardon the pun, but when Adam and Eve took a "byte" out of THE "apple," humanity lost something that no GPS system could ever locate.

When he rose from the dead, it wasn't with a new company but with new life for all of us who trust in him.

Steve, you might be able to run circles around circuits. But reality is found in Jesus. iKnow and uShould too, since your life story and his have more than a few things in common.

Besides, you know something about operating systems. Isn't it time you asked God to give you* a new OS?

Now that would be the best NeXTSTEP for you, * Steve.

*This offer not restricted to Steve Jobs.

This is like when Hollywood puts computers, the Internet and hackers into movies to try to seem contemporary. Usually it doesn't work. (Remember "Fear Dot Com"?) Just because half the people on the subway have iPods doesn't mean that they'll be able to relate to this message.

Supreme Trading

While we're on the subject of band names, punk is another genre where the pickings for fresh names are slim. Menstrual Tramps is good. So is Hymen Holocaust, although it's right next door to Anal Holocaust. Blackout Shoppers isn't bad either.

Congratulations to Endangered Feces for coming up with a name that combines punk aggression with a junior high school level of humor.

Drink 'Til You Piss Metal

It must be hard to think of an original name for a metal band. It seems that every moniker involving death and Satan is already taken, leading to bands calling themselves Planned Collapse and Killinit.

Yet Ramming Speed found one that had been overlooked. It sounds like the name of a second-tier band from the early 80s, and I mean that in a good way.

My suggestion for a metal band name - Hung Nun.

Outlaw Books!

I like the typography but don't get the message.

World War III

Found in Long Island City stuck to a lamp post. This sticker warns against World War III using an image from WWII.

Right now, World War III seems unlikely because the defining conflict of our day is the struggle between the western world and the Islamic world and the militants that we are up against have the good sense not to take us on toe-to-toe, tank-to-tank and plane-to-plane. They are developing different tactics that do not include the sort of large battles that we have come so associate with World War, ones like the image used in the sticker. If we decide to engage the enemy we will be faced with a situation more like a string of Iraq Wars.

The Giraffes

I looked around the East Village to find a complete version of this poster for a Luna Lounge gig by The Giraffes, a rock/surf/hardcore band from Brooklyn.

The guy with the needle is Dr. Harold Frederick Shipman. "a British general practitioner who was the most prolific known serial killer in modern history." His face is a maze and on either side of him are word find puzzles with no list of words to be found. It like a page from a sinister issue of Highlights magazine which I'm surprised to see is still in publication.

Leviticus - Part 7

Found on 23rd Street, a few doors down from the Home Depot. The poem reads,

THROUGH THE MISTY CHAOS A
SHATTERED STRUCTURE SURVIVING
BOUNCING BONES BLEEDING INSIDE.

This Man's Name Is Jonathan Daniel

I found this posted near Union Square. The text reads, "This man's name is Jonathan Daniel. He is also known as 'J.D'. He is a thief"

This is either a private dispute being made public or a very subtle guerrilla marketing campaign.

Leviticus - Part 6

Found this one taped to a bus shelter at 23rd and 8th Ave. Leviticus shares his name with the book of the Bible often cited as the God's condemnation of homosexuality. I think what's happening over the mountains is what the Bible is warning against. The scriptures say nothing against enjoying a hot mug of coffee, though.