King George

Rob, our west coast correspondent, found this at Cahuenga, near Franklin, in
Hollywood. An internet search found this entry on eHow written by King George himself.

I King George William Frederick Charles 7th AKA Charles John England have been victimized by the CIA long enough. I bought Benjamin Haskell Novick's family property on Hyperion where Hughes Supermarket now stands. His family had a small store there in the 70's I paid 1 million for it, which was the best deal ever and decided to put a big supermarket there. I named it Hughes Supermarket after someone I knew. I have owned this food chain for years and now the CIA is trying to say I gave it away to General Henry Sheldon AKA Heritage. I did not under no circumstance give this supermarket chain away. I own it, I created it and I am keeping it. They will try to steal it like they have stolen other houses, businesses of mine, my family jewelry and furniture. The following people have stole my properties. Benjamin Haskell Novick (FARAH FAUCETS SON) Cheryl Jackson, Jackie Glenn,Stephanie Shelly Marshall, Frank Thomas aka Mark Fustine. They have stole my fathers gold watches and diamond rings, Cheryl Jackson has stolen my mothers 5 diamond rings including her wedding ring to King George. Benjamin Haskell Novick has stolen 9 house of mine in Kona Hawaii where he now owns them. They will say I gave these houses to them. As we all know it requires a lawyer and to sign things to give away things. I have never signed anything to these people. I was forced at gun point one time to sign something to Frank Thomas or Jack with Marshall Gumbiner which gave him control of some of my family business. He assigned himself as executor of my Uncle King John Englands trust when he died in 1969. I did not want him to do this. Frank used hypnosis, mind control and drugs like sodium Penathaol to take advantage of me and cheat me. He says I gave him 300 houses that were precious and in my family for years. What he did was demolish them and redevelop on top and under them. As in Maui they made secret bases there in the mountain. I never received a dime from my family trust. These people including Bob Ferguson stepped in and took over my family trust and bank accounts. The relocated me after I was hypnotized. I have 26 invirtro children that know the story. Christina Aguilera who I have a civil and small claims law suit against. Set for 7/7 2008 SC 097500 at Santa Monica Superior Court and 4/25/2008 at Beverly Hills Small Claims. Corey Feldman, Matthew Broderick, Vanessa Williams, Hayden Panettiere, Hilary Duff, Austin Matthew England, Tracy, Crystal, Savannah, Samantha Hayworth, are my invirtro Children. They asked me for my sperm during the same period of time. In 1977 after my memory was erased and they took over my family trust, They got Syndi Martin to kidnap me and remove me from the state and enroll me in the first grade. I could not read or write or know what sperm or trust meant. Not one Deed was put in my name. The took the houses and easily put them in their own names. 60 agents I wont say which kind of agents, because I am sure you already know. 60 or more agen

It ends just like that. King George's porphyria must be relapsing.

You Suck Sarah Marshall

I suck Sarah Marshall? What part in particular? I think what they mean is "You suck, Sarah Marshall." A comma is a small thing, but it makes a difference.

Corporate Vandals Not Welcome

I too am bothered by street campaigns by big corporations but where do you draw the line? How big can your band, magazine, website or improv theater get before you become a corporate vandal?

What's next for the iPod guy?

I got this Jews for Jesus pamphlet at the Union Square subway stop. Here's the text, preserving the emphasis:

Steve Jobs - you started in lowly circumstances...a garage in Los Altos, California. You founded Apple Computer and took a bite out of the rest of the industry. You pioneered a whole new way of computing.

Yes, you were ousted, but you went on to form Next Computer.

Then you came roaring back to Apple and became the King of Computer Style.
You co-founded Pixar. You brought us OSX. You invented the iPod, iTunes, and iDon't know what else.

Your critics said you had a Reality Distortion Field, but you created your own reality.

What could possibly come next? Nano-tunes? Ectoplasmic operating systems? Celebrity status on other planets?

Steve, you have done wonders for our Wired life.

But life is more than wires. Silicon can't satisfy the soul. Hi-tech won't heal the heart.

We'd like you to meet someone who is kind of like you. Someone who also started out humbly. Someone who had a good career. Someone who also took a fall and then, kind of like you did, came back to life.

Maybe you know who I'm talking about, Steve - it's Jesus the Messiah. He was born in a donkey's feeding trough, even more humble than a garage.

He was killed, but not in a power coup. He said it was his purpose to die - so that you and I could be made spiritually whole.

(You'll pardon the pun, but when Adam and Eve took a "byte" out of THE "apple," humanity lost something that no GPS system could ever locate.

When he rose from the dead, it wasn't with a new company but with new life for all of us who trust in him.

Steve, you might be able to run circles around circuits. But reality is found in Jesus. iKnow and uShould too, since your life story and his have more than a few things in common.

Besides, you know something about operating systems. Isn't it time you asked God to give you* a new OS?

Now that would be the best NeXTSTEP for you, * Steve.

*This offer not restricted to Steve Jobs.

This is like when Hollywood puts computers, the Internet and hackers into movies to try to seem contemporary. Usually it doesn't work. (Remember "Fear Dot Com"?) Just because half the people on the subway have iPods doesn't mean that they'll be able to relate to this message.

Ron Paul 2008

This landed in my wallet this week.

Ron Paul is a congressman from Texas seeking the Republican nomination for president. According to Paul's website, "Paul never votes for legislation unless the proposed measure is expressly authorized by the Constitution.

Paul strictly constitutionalist opinions landed him an appearance in "America - Freedom to Fascism", a documentary produced by Aaron Russo, a Hollywood producer who was also a nominee for the Libertarian Party presidential candidate in 2004.

Googling "America - Freedom to Fascism" led to the the promotional website which has clips from the film and related interviews. There's more interesting information there than I'll go into here but, to relate it back to the dollar bill, Russo believes that the primary goal of American citizens should be to shut down the Federal Reserve which he states is not a federal institution at all, but a private bank run by a cartel of the major banks in the U.S.

Russo feels that one of the many misdeeds of the Fed was to take the country off of the gold standard, an action that is gradually making our money worthless. According to the film, a US dollar today is only worth 4 cents of what it was worth in 1930.

So deface all you want, we'll make more!