Senator Mike Gravel Calls For New Investigation Of 9/11

Who was behind 9/11?

Conspirators: The Bush administration, The Vatican, Johnson and Johnson.

Co-conspirators: The Trilateral Commission, Jews for Jesus, The Learning Annex, .

Special Guest Conspirator: Tony Danza.

Would have conspired, had they been invited: The Baltimore Department of Sanitation.

Planned an event much like 9/11, but never got around to making it happen: The McKinley administration, Ladies Home Journal, Birmingham High - Class of '81.

Found taped to the fence of St. Mark's Church.

CSI:New York

This is another Jews for Jesus flyer trying to be relevant, this time by borrowing interest from the popular CSI television series.

The premise is "What do you think Mac Taylor and his CSI colleagues would have done if they had to investigate the Death of Y'shua (the Jewish way to say Jesus)? Who would they pin the murder on?"

Then it goes on to work in every character from the show as they review the facts of the case as described in the Bible.



The biggest flaw in hypothetical situation is that the NYPD would have no reason to investigate this case. No murder was committed. It would be like looking into someone who was sentenced to death in Iran. Their legal system doesn't work like ours does, and we may disapprove of it, but it's out of our jurisdiction.


The flyer concludes with "the evidence points to all of us being guilty, since anyone who ever sinned put put Y'shua on the cross."

Uh...no. No New York judge would ever convict someone for a murder committed two thousand years before he was born. At least I hope not. I don't want to take the fall for what happened to Saint Bartholomew.

What's next for the iPod guy?

I got this Jews for Jesus pamphlet at the Union Square subway stop. Here's the text, preserving the emphasis:

Steve Jobs - you started in lowly circumstances...a garage in Los Altos, California. You founded Apple Computer and took a bite out of the rest of the industry. You pioneered a whole new way of computing.

Yes, you were ousted, but you went on to form Next Computer.

Then you came roaring back to Apple and became the King of Computer Style.
You co-founded Pixar. You brought us OSX. You invented the iPod, iTunes, and iDon't know what else.

Your critics said you had a Reality Distortion Field, but you created your own reality.

What could possibly come next? Nano-tunes? Ectoplasmic operating systems? Celebrity status on other planets?

Steve, you have done wonders for our Wired life.

But life is more than wires. Silicon can't satisfy the soul. Hi-tech won't heal the heart.

We'd like you to meet someone who is kind of like you. Someone who also started out humbly. Someone who had a good career. Someone who also took a fall and then, kind of like you did, came back to life.

Maybe you know who I'm talking about, Steve - it's Jesus the Messiah. He was born in a donkey's feeding trough, even more humble than a garage.

He was killed, but not in a power coup. He said it was his purpose to die - so that you and I could be made spiritually whole.

(You'll pardon the pun, but when Adam and Eve took a "byte" out of THE "apple," humanity lost something that no GPS system could ever locate.

When he rose from the dead, it wasn't with a new company but with new life for all of us who trust in him.

Steve, you might be able to run circles around circuits. But reality is found in Jesus. iKnow and uShould too, since your life story and his have more than a few things in common.

Besides, you know something about operating systems. Isn't it time you asked God to give you* a new OS?

Now that would be the best NeXTSTEP for you, * Steve.

*This offer not restricted to Steve Jobs.

This is like when Hollywood puts computers, the Internet and hackers into movies to try to seem contemporary. Usually it doesn't work. (Remember "Fear Dot Com"?) Just because half the people on the subway have iPods doesn't mean that they'll be able to relate to this message.