Mary Mary

After my first post about these rants, I was contacted by people who saw these in Chicago. This guy gets around. If anyone has seen these in any other cities, please let me know.

The text, preserving all spelling and grammatical errors:

MARY MARY

YOU MUST LISTEN TO CHRIST RADIO 56AM OR DIVEL WILL MAKE BATS OUT OF ALL OF YOUS

IF YOU WANT TO GET TO HEAVEN OU MUST STOP GAY SHACKING UP. AND FORNICATIONG OR YOUS WILL BURN IN HOT LAVA IN HELL FOREVER. CHRIST SAID SO IN THE HOLY BIBLE. STAY MARRIED THROW AWAY FLITHY MOVIES YOUR EYES ARE THE MIRRORS OF YOUR SOUL

Found on Broadway below 14th Street.

LOST DOG!!!!!!

Hell hath no fury like a an illiterate woman scorned.

Found on 4th Avenue.

The Campaign Against Scientology

Someone has it in for Scientology. Through the websites whyweprotest.net and xenu.net , and now fliers, the enemies of Tom Cruise are waging an info war on the house that L. Ron Hubbard built. I found all three of these around Union Square in a week.

I don't know. Which 70s sitcom were you on?

The people who vehemently oppose cults are often as fanatical as the cults themselves. If everyone ignores Scientology, it will go away.

Last Tango with Marlon

At the ad agency where I used to work, someone put a picture on the bathroom wall of Marlon Brando and Wally Cox. You can find the shot with a Google image search if you turn the SafeSearch filter off. I thought of that picture when I saw this flyer and it would be enough to keep me away from this production, even if I lived in L.A.

Found in a Los Feliz Starbucks by Rob.

Britney Happy B-Day

Rob, my friend in Los Angeles, found this at Crescent Heights and Mulholland Drive. He had to get out of his car to retrieve this so it has to be special. It's also crazy. And gay.

Like, this is way crazy and a little gay.

And this is a little crazy and super gay. Super L.A. too. I don't find stuff like this here in NYC. We're more obsessed with money than celebrity so we tend to leave our resident stars alone. Except for John Lennon.

Leviticus - Part 6

Found this one taped to a bus shelter at 23rd and 8th Ave. Leviticus shares his name with the book of the Bible often cited as the God's condemnation of homosexuality. I think what's happening over the mountains is what the Bible is warning against. The scriptures say nothing against enjoying a hot mug of coffee, though.

HELL

I found this chunk of fire and brimstone on the sidewalk in The first part of the text explains how the Bible condemns homosexuality and the second part claims that by giving yourself over to Christ you will be saved and no longer gay.

This is exactly the wrong way to win people over. It's like if Revlon ran an ad that had UGLY as the headline (with Unattractive and You extending from the U and Y) with copy citing Revlon corporate literature that specifically forbids not wearing makeup as not only unsightly but also morally bereft. After setting up the problem, the solution would be a face full of Revlon products that would transform you into Halle Berry no matter how ghastly you look at the moment.