Private Eyes for Hire!

Sherlock Investigations will locate people, do background checks, conduct surveillance on a cheating spouse and, if the photo is any indications, run across rooftops while up-tempo funk plays in the background.

Found at Joe, on 13th St.

Keep The Ten Commandments

Crazed Christianity - just the way I like it. Both postings insist you to follow the Ten Commandments and listen to Christ Radio at 53AM.

Best line: "Teenages and people in Hell are suffering terrible."

There wasn't an intact posting of this one so I had to capture it in halves.

Best line: "A face of a woman was on a bats face on a front page news."

Found on Broadway above Union Square.

What Do Forced Abortions, Slave Labor, And Asbestos All Have In Common?

What do forced abortions, slave labor, and asbestos all have in common? The comedy genius of Totie Fields, of course.

Found in Washington Square Park.

Reverend Jen's Really Cool Neighborhood

This is the East Village that I remember, or at least how I like to remember it.

According to Reverend Jen's Wikipedia page, she is "an American Performer, underground movie star, writer, prophet, painter, director, preacher, poet, troll museum founder and a self-described 'Patron Saint of the Uncool and Voice of the Downtrodden and Tired' from Manhattan, New York City."

Along with "time travel", "dancing unicorns", and "arts + crafts", the flyer advertises live music by the Clean Teens. On the Clean Teens MySpace page, they describe their sound - "We sing about fried chicken, spaceships, chicks with dicks, coke, and forced sex. You know, life."

!!! LOST DOG!!!

I don't think that Simon is lost. I think he got sick of being dressed in stupid outfits that his owner thinks are cute and ran away.

Found in Coldwater Canyon by Rob, our west coast correspondent.

Leviticus - Part 20: Crucified

A promo for one of Leviticus' paintings. Found on St. Mark's Place.

LOST DOG!!!!!!

Hell hath no fury like a an illiterate woman scorned.

Found on 4th Avenue.

Guru Pitka Will Teach You Sitar

Guru Pitka is the main character in "The Love Guru", the latest Mike Myers comedy. I've never been a Mike Myers fan so when I saw him doing improv at the Magnet Theater, I was surprised at how good he was. He didn't do any of the shameless mugging that you see in his movies.

This looks like a take off on the ubiquitous "Dan Smith Will Teach You Guitar" fliers.

Tony Alamo Christian Ministries

I remember Tony Alamo. I first read one of his crazy newsletters when I was a kid in Los Angeles. If that's a picture of Tony, it must be an old one.

Handed to me in Union Square.

The Campaign Against Scientology

Someone has it in for Scientology. Through the websites whyweprotest.net and xenu.net , and now fliers, the enemies of Tom Cruise are waging an info war on the house that L. Ron Hubbard built. I found all three of these around Union Square in a week.

I don't know. Which 70s sitcom were you on?

The people who vehemently oppose cults are often as fanatical as the cults themselves. If everyone ignores Scientology, it will go away.

Zumwalt

Friends or suspects?

One found on 4th Avenue, the other on 14th Street. Both were slipped into the display window of a free newspaper boxes.

You Said You Have Brown Hair 203-432-1050

Another poke from The Bureau of General Inquiry.

Found in Long Island City.

Trees Slaughtered By The Bloomberg Administration

The verb slaughter is usually used with animals and sometimes people. It doesn't go with trees.
Also, trees lost the Battle of New York centuries ago and you can't single out Bloomberg as the guy responsible for their absence in the urban landscape. He's the guy that fought so hard for congestion pricing, a way of deterring driving in the city which would have done more to improve the air than planting trees.

Found in Union Square near the statue of Ghandi.

Christopher Potts

I know how hard it is to get friends to come to shows.

Found on the sidewalk of 11th Street.

Mariah vs. Janet

The publicity blitz for Mariah Carey's new E=MC2 album is on. On this one subway poster, a Janet Jackson fan has taped up an ad for that corporate pop diva's new release, "Discipline."

At least Janet Jackson could define discipline, while I doubt that Mariah Carey could explain the equation E=MC2.

Found in Long Island City.

Stop The Raids & Deportations

This is the Spanish side of a flyer calling for a May Day march. Left-wing revolutionaries always include a Spanish translation. It's part of the pose.

These days , being a socialist is a lifestyle choice, like being a hippie or a punk. You talk the talk, walk the walk, and wear the Che t-shirt, but it's merely going through the motions. There's no more likelihood of a socialist revolution than of goths making every day on the calendar Halloween.

The Message: Procession

This is a recollection of a Catholic parade on Aruba with some scientific words mixed in. At the bottom it says , "Un message: No Peace...No Justice! God Bless Papa "

Art or insanity? Te inclusion of words that are both highlighted and double underlined point to the latter.

Found in Union Square.

Caution: You Are Entering A Sound Rating Zone

While walking down University Place, I stumbled into a sound rating zone.

This is the zone, near the corner of West 11th and University, where the Cedar Tavern used to be.

This is the guy who did the sound rating. His method was to tap everything with a stick and rate the sounds.

The rating categories were resonance, tonality and uniqueness, and the scale was 1 through 10

Passers-by were invited to make their own ratings. I did not see anyone take him up on this.

No Security

When I saw this on Bowery, I thought that the hand written "no security" was a warning added by a second party, as in "this building offers no security and your stuff will get stolen." But maybe the creator of the flyer added it, meaning that no security deposit is necessary. That's something that I'd want to know before moving in with my photo studio or editing suite.

Don't Believe The Next 9/11

Someone handed this to me in Union Square.

I remember the last 9/11. The weather was still warm so my wife and went to Central Park for a picnic. Then we rented a tandem bike and went for a ride. On the way home we found $50 that we used to pay for a perfect meal at Il Cantinori. And we finished it all with a 5-hour lovemaking marathon. It was an unbelievable day and if the next 9/11 is half as good, it will be amazing too.